Hi Oz I don't know about being brave - it doesn't feel that way and it's hurting like hell. I am trying to be reassured by the fact that people say that it's counter-intuitive process but works for so many and my focus is 'what else have I got right now'? I have to give this my best shot - what other ammunition do I have? The alternative is to roll over and let H call the shots, which would keep me weak, needy and vulnerable?
Being silent and mysterious is going to make H wonder what I am up to (I know my H!) and whilst he might consider that I am playing games, it's also a 180 in that I am giving him the space that he seems to yearn for right now. I am not hassling, not pursuing, not calling/emailing/texting ... you know how this works. His last email to me (yesterday) remains unanswered and his last sentence was that he hopes that the cats and I are OK. Well, no answer, must make him wonder I would have thought - that's an open invite for a return email, as was his new email address. I have not bitten - a good 180, or what? Double-whammy!!
Had my friend around for coffee this morning which was lovely but then she started talking about her H and how loved up they are as a family - it kind of smacks you in the face, even though you don't want to seem churlish - this is their reality, as it was mine just a few weeks back. Hurts though to see other people being happy and living a normal family life. Made me a bit down after she had left :o( Just glad that I am going to see counsellor now this arvo so that I get chance to let out some more inner feelings and have an hour of self-indulgent 'me' time!
Catch you later.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
