Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

Wish I could think of something new to tell you but right now I can't think of much positive. Your W is headed for a big fall, as you know....and I hope you will be able to deal with it when it happens.

Sandi,

Well that makes two of us that can't think of much positive right now. But that is OK; it's still a comfort and a blessing to know you are keeping an eye on my sitch.

As for my W's eventual fall, you need not worry about me- I will deal with it one way or another. Whether I will still be around to catch my W when she does fall is another matter. Unfortunately, my W is foolishly stubborn and will likely struggle to maintain the R with OM when it does start to fail with the equivalent effort she puts forth to convince herself it's not worth working on her M with me.

I think if you were to push her toward the OM that things would tumble down even quicker. I don't know if you can do that, but the sooner she sees that you don't want her any longer--and she turns to OM, the sooner she is going to start getting a taste of reality. There is no way OM is going to support her. He's been on his own too long and he doesn't want your W (or anybody else) except as a booty call. Right now your W thinks you are mad and she is doing things to spite you, but if she thought you were happy to be free of her and looking forward to being single, then she may get her attention directed in the right way. At least she would be surprised at you....and it would be a 180!

Funny you should mention this as I was thinking the same thing- again of course, since I tried leaving her at her parent's house to pursue her A with the OM (without success)during my little trip awhile ago to get my kids.

At this point I would like to push her out the door to OM for the reason you stated above. In fact, I've been thinking about telling her to go talk to OM about wiring her some money so she can move out to her own apartment (we can't afford it ourselves) because of course OM won't. What is frustrating right now in this respect are two things: 1) my W continues to hide behind/use our kids to try to turn things around so that physical S is MY problem- I'm the one who needs to move because "the kids have to stay with their mom", therefore "the kids need a place to live" and 2)My W now insists that this is not a "competition" between the OM and I for her affection, she just doesn't want to be with me. Not sure why this distinction is important to her in her WAW brain since she is apparently telling her friends at the same time that her "R" with OM is really loving and special. Is it because in reality she knows OM really can't "compete" with me? Is it because deep down she knows he is unreliable? Or is there some truth to what she is saying- is she just using OM as a "toy" and an emotional crutch to get away from me? In any event, that is where I am at right now with my W- making a 180 for sure.