BJ, I thought a lot about what you said and I need to thank you. It really helped my interaction with H.
He spent dinner with me and S tonight. I prepared a big family dinner of lots of food, thinking there would be something for everyone that way. My husband started raising his voice and criticizing me about how I gave him "too much food" and "what a waste that is" and he's "told me so many times to ask him before I make a meal"...I was p.o.ed considering I cooked things I knew he liked and for the eight years we've been together his motto has been "I'll eat anything in front of me as long as it doesn't get away from me first". So his pickiness was a shock to me.
I stood up to him! I told him he could thank me instead for cooking such a nice meal and see things from my point of view - that I provided more food so that he would have choices as to what he wanted. I told him exactly what I tell S - that he gets what I cook and he can eat what he wants or politely say "no thank you".
He tried to convince me how right he was and I wouldn't have it. I asked him how he would prefer I handle dinner, since as long as I have known him he has been happy to eat what I put in front of him. I told him if he wants me to handle it differently, he can tell me how he would like it. (Then he can't criticize me if it's his way.)
Anyway, somehow by the grace of god I stopped him at the pass. I still don't know if I can do it again!
