I have determined that if I have truly handed all of this over to God, then everything is happening according to his schedule. If that is true, then this roller coaster is happening just as it should.
I know that it took me some time to come to many realizations about myself and discover that I wanted to make our marriage work. When my XH was wanting to reconsider, I was not ready. If we had gotten back together at that time, it would not have worked because I had not completed my journey. God needed that time to work on me and change me.
I need to remember that God needs this same time to work on him. I am seeing the turmoil that he is going through ... that roller coaster is proof positive that God is working on him. Until he is finished with his journey, and God's timing is right, anything we do on our own will not work.
I plan to come back and re-read this and remind myself of this every time I get impatient or frustrated by his flip-flopping and slow pace of self-realization!
