The way I look at my H at MLC is, do I believe that's the true him, or is the behavior just "MLC"? I started to realize that some of H's behavior was just mlc behavior. But at the same time, I have discovered more of my H. There are behaviors which now I know is him, and it will never change. I can either embrace it or not. He will not change. Looking on the positive side, is that I also see H trying to change some things/behaviors which I know is not him. He is doing that for our family. And I really appreciate that.
You have been with your H long enough, I guess if you see him in his actions, you will know what is his true behavior, and what's not. It is more difficult since you two don't see/talk to each other often. Do you want to live with your true H, after he comes out of all the immatureity? Is that the H you can still commmit to, of course considering the kids, history, love, etc.
I have been thinking about my problems. Now I know what my H is truly like (and there are the parts that I do not know still). I also see what he has done for us. Moving forward will not be easy with him, but I know I am commited to be with him, good and bad, "for better or for worse", and with all the unknowns in the future.
It took me a long time to really commit in my heart. But once I make my decision, it feels good. You will know when you are ready to decide. take care.
