Yes of course, I understood that. I just didn't get it in relation to the content of this convo.
sorry, duh!
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
If Mrs. SP felt ugly and didn't even want to see a picture of herself, she was experiencing insecurity that was damaging your R (duh)...but it was not out of viciousness that she didn't accept your compliments or advances, it was out of her experiencing an unpleasant sensation because it didn't match or hold true. AND, some of this can be due to her insecurities, issues etc and some due to your delivery or non-delivery in other areas of the R...
Though my instinctive reaction is to say, "Yeah, this is probably right," at the same time these things I described were happening she was working out more, getting new clothing styles, showing cleavage (first time ever), getting Botox.... all the stuff that signals "OM! OM!". So if she was feeling unattractive, it wasn't uniformly unattractive to all male-kind. Certainly not to Signore Schmuckatelli...
It's precisely because of situations like you described with your son and your wife during/after delivery and in NICU, and because of Themselves, that Mrs. SP gets extra points in the final decision. Not because she merits them necessarily, and if there was abuse it might negate all of that--but because in giving Mrs. SP that handicap (think golf here, not wheelchairs), you're acknowledging that there's another entity involved here.
As in my previous to @aliveandkicking, my instinctive reaction is to agree with you, hoosiermama.
But that doesn't mean I don't find it Immensely Irritating that, yet again, Left-Behind has to do That Which Walkaway Wouldn't.
Because obviously there was no such handicap where MR. SP was concerned.... "Too little, too late."
Posted by: Red Sox Fan Biased conclusion based on who or what you decide to look at.
Quote:
Posted by: aliveandkicking Yes of course, I understood that. I just didn't get it in relation to the content of this convo.
You were saying you didn't observe hesitation about sex-talk here, in response to interventions by @Kettricken and @Hoosiermama and @Sara.
And I was pointing out that (a) it's a comparatively constrained set of us who are talking openly about sex and (b) we all are not a necessarily representative subset of the married/divorced population at large -- for one, we're all a lot more open (within the limits of the term imposed by anonymity) and feelings-sharing than many (most, I would submit) of our fellow Americans.
I cant recall you ever admitting a fault without it being followed by the word BUT ...
And I do go back and read your threads - for their amusement value really. You did top yourself ( so to speak ) with the ballon blowing comment. That was soooooo funny.
i can sum my real honest to god I know i was wrong contributions in a few bullet points. Not 3 threads SP. No one is that amazing or controlling .
Please tell me your 3 top faults that were absolutely devastating to your M ?
