OK, I think I'm ready for this today, just woke up and realized it was time. I don't feel like Infidelity is the place for me anymore. I'm ready to get D and move on with my life. Plus, pretty much everyone over there has already moved over here, and I miss you guys!!!
X has the kids this weekend, but let me take them to church today. (His didn't have children's church today). I loved seeing them and hugging them and kissing on D9 (no way would S15 let me do that of course).
X had emailed me yesterday asking me to wash the kids clothes and drop them off. We've been exchanging them back & forth (with me doing the laundry of course). I emailed him that I think we should just split their clothes in half. I gave him most everything he bought for them last week, although I had to keep 2 pairs of jeans for S15. When I get the money, I'll buy some for him and send those back too.
H picked up the kids after church and was doing the non-evasion not looking at me stuff. Looked kind of unhappy. I have to admit my first thought was what did I do; is he mad at me? Old patterns I guess. Then I snapped myself out of that and realized he could be looking that way for many reasons: he's had the kids for 2 days, or OW, or money or whatever. And even if he's mad at me, tough, b/c I make good decisions and ones that are motivated by my love for the kids.
I have mixed feelings about something today, and wanted to get feedback if you don't mind. My pastor today after church told me to call him this week. He offered me a job as director of moms day out and made sure to tell me it would be a paid position. First of all, this is a new thing they're starting, and I'm flattered they're thinking of me to help out.But, you know I'm thinking this is charity they're offering me b/c of my sitch. And I HATE that. I was thinking I would def. help out, but maybe I should offer to do for free volunteer (I'm sure there are many women in the congregation that would do that 2 mornings a week for 3 hours. Or should I bite the bullet and allow minimum wage or something until I hopefully do get a job that I know isn't charity???
