When I said that, I was thinking from what you describe, your H has emotionally abused you. I think that can be as serious as alcohol or drugs or physical abuse if it continues long-term. I actually went through that myself, and I lost all self-confidence and became depressed.
I think you shouldn't allow your H to accuse you. Stop trying to defend yourself and try to convince him to trust you. It's a cheeseless tunnel and it's not working. If he is accusing you and/or being emotionally abusive, then tell him he needs to stop. If he doesn't then leave.
Ultimately, I think it would be hard to stay in a marriage where your spouse doesn't trust you. He needs to decide if he can trust you or not. If not, then I don't think you should live like that permanently. He's a social worker; he refuses counseling??? Karen
