hhh, Each situation is different as is each person. You can't tell your spouse what to do and none of the people on here who really are good at this DBing stuff have done that. What they've done is set boundaries related to how they will be treated, how they expect to be treated. I know it's a fine line between that and ultimatums, but to me, as one person fighting for her marriage, it's "This is how I expect you to treat me" more than "You do this or I will do this". These are threats, these are firm boundaries where the WAS needs to understand the LBS still has self respect and is basically making that clear.
