Mmm - you are as flat as a flounder, my friend. (((Oz))) how are you feeling today - have you gone to work?
Everything that you are saying (like you don't know if you can be bothered fighting anymore) is perfectly normal when you are not on parr. Let things go for a while and if you are not well, stay put. Don't worry about going to the old house and moving stuff. The worse you get physically, the worse you will get emotionally. When you sink so low, it's twice as hard to get back up on the horse, so don't let yourself fall any further or it will be even harder to climb back up.
Ask S and D to help with bringing the last few bits from the house and if S does that, I am sure that D will help to clean when they know that you are not well. Don't be so hard on yourself. See how you are tonight and if you feel up to it, recruit the kids and take them to the movies with you as payment for helping today! That's a double bonus that you get to spend more time with them and H may even wonder why he was left out!
Let us know how you are going ... JUST REST, OK?? You will be back up soon enough. We just need to give ourselves permission sometimes to have a rest from the enormous fight that zaps us of all our energies. Go cry, go rant and rave if you want to, just do something nice for yourself afterward and feel good about it. We can't carry this burden inside us for all the time that we are doing without it having some sort of pressure release.
I know that you are in your own kind of funk right now but these things are cyclical ... look at me - I was so down but I have come back up a bit now - this is just the way we go ... but we will get there.
Here's one to ponder on, from John Milton the English Poet (1606-1674):
"The mind is it's own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven".
I shall check in on you later. Be kind to youself.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
