My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

HM -
This seems to be a recurrent theme among us all here, recently. For myself, instead of thinking about dating, I have decided that I want to build up my base of friends (a la Sex and the City). Like you, too many of my eggs were stacked in xH's basket. And I do feel like I am more like an early-20s, rather than a practically 40. Life, take 2.
The days of loneliness do start to spread out, though. I think I have a year more into this that you...they hit, but not as often. There were times when I couldn't get out of bed, even if the kids were home. Not anymore - now, I know what the triggers can be, and the plans I make seem to keep me above it (for now).

An idea about your daughter - you work in a school, with a social worker and school psych, yes? Can one of them offer some help for her? Or someone from her own school? They are usually understanding of these situations and want to help....

I'll write more later...

My eggs were stacked in xH's basket, and in my church community--which was also where I worked. In the same week, both pulled out. I knew there was that possibility at work/church, just trying to hang on until D graduated from 8th grade there. But ultimately, I had no control over the timing. And xH--yeah, that just took my by complete surprise. Altho, in retrospect, it shouldn't have either.

D13 is doing okay, really. It's just that she did see an IC a couple of times and really liked it, but then I could no longer afford it and xH wasn't willing to foot the bill. Her school has generally been less than helpful, and as a small parochial school there are no resources like counselors or social workers. But checking with our social worker is probably a good idea.

This is actually the second time I've started over. I was briefly married in my 30's, and started over after that divorce mid-30's. It's harder this time, both because I'm older and because I have a daughter now. But between both these things, I will never be financially well-off, nor will I ever be able to retire. But no point in worrying about that issue right now.