Ok I blew it. I should have turned my cell BACK OFF but I was so tired I just fell back to sleep after calling a friend of mine.
Then he called, ..and I LOST IT. I answered and just screamed at him for waking me up and not giving a damn and Im not really sure what else I said but none of it was very nice... then I calmed down a little. He didnt exactly get defensive, I think my outburst caught him off guard? I dunno... anyway he DENIES writing the letter!!!!!!!! Denies it. Flat out said he didnt write it. That he had surgery on his arm 3 weeks ago and that he couldnt possibly write a letter. I told him I had it and it was from him. The handwriting IS a bit messier but it was from him. He said no way. I then told him I saw the pic and he had a tank on and NO SURGERY, he looked fine. No answer.
I then told him if he continues lying to me he will push me away because I dont have the strength to deal with his crap right now. He said he knew and sounded sad. I didnt care tho. He asked me if I was feeling ok and I went off again. I said no , not that you give a damn. I did NOT mention the little hussy(my friends word Im borrowing it). then I ended the call.
Total fail on DBing i know. I am sure I will regret answering later. I was so damn tired and felt so bad and when I saw him come up on the phone I just....snapped. I did tell him to leave me the (insert VERY bad word here) alone for a bit.
The entire episode made my head hurt and I cried for a while. I DID NOT cry during the call tho. I was just angry. NOw Im just exhausted again.
Im going to just try to rest and get some strength back. When Im feeling better I guess I can deal with this tangle that is my marriage.
