Wow, sorry to hear about all that, hoosiermama. Actually your stillborn story sounds an awful lot like MY Hoosier Mama's story about the boy who was born before me. So I have a pretty good sense of how that hurt. In my son's case, he was struggling with breathing at birth -- cord around the neck -- and we had to rush him into the neonatal ICU. But as the nurses and the doctor and I were in the act of leaving WAW alone, naked, splayed out on the delivery table -- I at least commend myself for having had the presence of mind, even after all those hours of delivery, for shouting, "F*ck! Would someone please go sit with my wife??? Dumba**es!" as we wheeled the boy-child out of the room (and a nurse with the presence of mind to (a) take care of a post-delivery woman and (b) not piss off an extremely agitated husband went and did just that).
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there were no terms of endearment, no words of appreciation, no expressions of gratitude, no in-between things like holding hands, touching...And then I was supposed to be hot for him at a moment's notice... There's a lot of in-between-ness, from no interaction to full-on sex.
In my case it was mostly in-between-ness, but I tried hard -- and I don't mean that to sound "martyry," I did it because I liked it -- to always be touching, flirting, winking, insinuating, eyeballing, etc. She'd get out of the shower, for example, and even though it was the crack o' dawn and she was in a rush for work, I'd still give out with an "oooo" or an "ahhhh" and find some excuse to "accidentally" brush up against her or gently glom onto a handy bit of her exterior, that sort of thing.
