Well, I think you did the right thing by laying all that out on the table, but now I'm thinking you should pull back. Stop R talk and D talk and yeah, just talking in general. Vent here or with friends. Not family, that doesn't usually work too well!!!
I think you have a good chance. She's so confused and when reality/consequences really sink in for her, and if you're not pursuing/pressuring, I think things will work out. In my case, my H was in love with OW and never has looked back or confused or waivered about D. So you have a much different sitch than mine.
DBing is for you and your kids, and to help you get through this. I plan to DB the rest of my life, and I think you should too. Your wife has given you so much info. Keep it up. I've seen success stories on this board and never seen it happen in a day or week. And it's usually when the LBS gets detached/drops the rope. You need to work on getting to that point.
