It wouldnt really matter Bbj if that little part wasnt correct. But it is. Inan other email she talks about the abortion as what she gave up for him because he didnt want anymoe kids...
frank, elegant? Of course I will be elegant. That's the way I am.
rinse, I know, I have 3 more days to relax and then my babies are back!! K
Good morning, Kalni. What time is it there? It is nearly 1:30 here, PDT. I took a little nap that lasted several hours and look at me now. Lol! I wish the laundry room was open. Oh well, I could putter around in the kitchen, I guess.
Yes, you are very elegant. And I see the tremendous amount of grace you have shown under immense pressure.
... I am sitting here today, reading articles about forgiveness and anger management and trying to set a path of how to move on with the less possible damage for me and the kids.
Hi K,
When I first moved to piecing I struggled with all that stuff of forgiveness and suppressing my anger towards W, and if I’m really honest, even though I write about her in good terms, I don’t think I can say that I have forgiven her for all the lies, tretchry, deceit, and just plain cheating.
There isn’t a day that goes by without me thinking of all the things that went on, it’s just that now I am strong enough to keep them locked away somewhere not far from the back of my mind.
I’m not sure why I started writing this piece, but I think it was because I wanted to say that no matter what stage we get to all those feelings are still with us, but we just get better at dealing with them.
I'm sure you will be able to deal with all of your difficult facts as you start to move on.
I know it shouldnt be, but it sure feels like I am going thru the same phase I did, 2 years ago, when he moved out.
It may not be as strong as it was then, but anger is here for sure.
I have a hard time explaining his behavior the last 1,5 years. The time he spent with us, the gifts, the hugs, the kisses, the refusal to give me the divorce at least 4 times, the wanting to come back, the months he spent in and out of this house, the refusal again to divorce... I just dont get it . He was out. He had his girlfriend even if things didnt look good for them, but he wasnt alone, he didnt need me as a crutch, why the h$ll did he want to come back? When I was taking to him back then, I was completely detached, calm and confident, I wasnt hostile, I wasnt asking for money or creating problems like that, I was living my life best way I could.
It was sadistic but also masochistic too. Why did he force himself to go thru this, just for the kids as she keeps telling him? I cant believe that. When he came back, the kids were doing fine, much better than now...
Not talkin' 'bout a year, no not three or four I don't want that kind for forever in my life anymore Forever always seems to be around when it begins But forever never seems to be around when it ends
So give me your forever Please your forever Not a day less will do From you
People spend so much time, every single day Runnin' 'round all over town, givin' their forever away But no, not me, I won't let my forever roam And now I hope I can find my forever a home
So give me your forever Please your forever Not a day less will do From you
Like a handless clock with numbers an infinite of time No, not the forever found only in the mind Forever always seems to be around when things begin But forever never seems to be around when things end
So give me your forever Please your forever Not a day less will do From you
Oh no Here comes that sun again That means another day Without you my friend
And it hurts me To look into the mirror at myself And it hurts even more To have to be with somebody else And its so hard to do And so easy to say But sometimes Sometimes you just have to walk away Walk away
With so many people To love in my life Why do I worry About one
But you put the happy In my ness You put the good times Into my fun And its so hard to do And so easy to say But sometimes Sometimes you just have to walk away Walk away And head for the door Weve tried the goodbye So many days We walk in the same direction So that we could never stray They say if you love somebody Than you have got to set them free But I would rather be locked to you Than live in this pain and misery
They say time will Make all this go away But its time that has taken my tomorrows And turned them into yesterdays And once again that rising sun Is dropping on down And once again you my friend Are nowhere to be found And its so hard to do And so easy to say But sometimes Sometimes you just have to walk away Walk away And head for the door You just walk away Walk away
Good afternoon K, I can't sleep...hardly slept...getting ready for golf....have no legs...LOL. I think I will cart it today.
The questions or rather answers you seek will probably never sufffice. You are not even sure that he will tell the truth and I am not even sure they know why they do certain things. I read Lan's post and I think he is right about keeping thoughts neatly placed somewhere. We can not forget the betrayal whether piecing or seperated or divorced. We just need to deal with it and move on. I also read posters who are undoubtedly much more knowledgeable than me say that you need to go through stages of anger etc. They may be right but I would suggest to you na danyone else going through this to stop soaking in it. When the feelings are too strong try to distract yourself. Eventually they will dissipate. NGF said something tonight as we were watching TV prior to hitting the sack (which we hardly did / but I digress). We were at a 50th wedding anniversay (just 25 people) in a restaurant... She said I am sorry to say this but I was watching you tonight, what kind of an idiot let's a guy like you get away? Well the reason I mnetion this is not to brag or toot my own horn but I think you and others are in the same boat. You probably do not believe this right now but there are people out there that appreciate you for who you are. With all our faults.....so, in conclusion; you deserve better than what you got the last 3 years or so. Try to stop dwelling on the past...whether their is reconcilliation or a clean breakup in the stars, the quicker you get out of the past the better in my opinion.
