Julia, I'm sorry that you had a bad day today. I will send positive thoughts to you tonight as I look up at the same moon that shines over you in London. I have had some crying spells lately too that caught me by surprise......to me they just validate that my relationship with H was very special.......that I didn't imagine how special it was. One thing that I have done that has really helped has been to NOT listen to pop music on the radio (every other song seems to bring back memories). Instead I have been listening to stations that don't broadcast pop music. This has REALLY helped my PMA. Another thing that helps is some type of physical activity that involves some element of 'survival' (I use this term VERY loosely here) such as cross country skiing or walking/biking around a lake where you can't turn back and have no choice but to move forward (can't cut across the lake). For example, last night I went night-biking (using headlights and tail-lights) with a group of people through the city and then on a very dark path along a large river that runs through our city. I had never been on that path along the river before and had no idea what to expect. It was a beautiful cool, clear night with the moonlight shining on the river. I had to watch the path for branches or stones that could send me over my handlbars....and at the end of that path was a very steep climb (I made it up! Yippee!). That type of activity helps me to refocus. Could lap swimming do that for you? I used to lap swim and thought that the controlled breathing was similar to the relaxation breathing technique that we teach in the clinic to help patients control stress.
