In Limbo

[d1adsl5a]

Hey Trapt.

Looks like you are having a crazy saturday night like me. Looking on the DB website....

I thank you for the post. I agree, backing off is what I plan on doing for sometime now. At least that is the current plan...

She starts her job on Monday. First time she is going back to work in 10 years. New therapist on Sept. 10. And Retrouville in October.

Hope she does follow through on her committment to go. We had a block party tonight. Most of the neighborhood was there. I find out that she spilled her guts the other night to three of the girls in the neighborhood. She couldn't say enough of how good a guy I am. I am a great catch, Great Father....

She went through the whole father thing, all her issues, when the called her on the her craziness and what she is doing, her only response was I'm done, I'm just Done. She couldn't come up with anything else to justify her actions. I agree she may mean it and may not...I am staying in there in hopes that she doesn't. If she does, that can change to. But as I have somewhat changed my scope of thinking in the past week. I can't DB forever(OK-Maybe I haven't really started yet). But I cannot and will not sit by and loose my sense of self. A guy can only swallow his pride, put the ego on the shelf before it starts to change him. And not change him for the better.

I could not be the father I need to be if I let that happen continously. My sons can see it already. I do know she does have some sort of mental disease at this point. Not sure anymore if it is MLC, severe depression, childhood issues coming to fruition or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she is lucid as can be and knows exactly what she is doing. Living platonically indefinitely is not the right thing for me or my sons. They need to see their parents in a loving relationship. My W is a much better actor than me...

Anyway, my plan is to let the chips fall where they may over the next 6 weeks...