I second the recommendation of DC. I have met friends through DC that have really helped me -- even when I am the one doing the helping.
I know about the expense of IC. Even the church-subsidized fees of my own IC are more than I can handle right now. If you can find some sort of low-cost or no-cost support group, like DC, you might meet folks who can help with the loneliness.
Does it ever go away? No. Not really. But the cynical part of me thinks that maybe even in the best of one-on-one relationships a person can feel loneliness, the only difference is that the other person distracts us from recognizing it. Maybe. (Let's just say that I have been having second thoughts on whether I was truly, 100% melded with my W when we were M'ed.)
I also know what you mean about the "skin" of someone too. But even there, I am beginning to think we're just settling -- settling for something that is a poor substitute for what we really want and need, which is God. We are all, each in our own way, seeking Heaven, and we stumble blindly here in the "Shadowlands", as C. S. Lewis describes it, trying to find some semblance of being with God and thus 100% free of loneliness.
I don't know, I'm just rambling now.
I feel ya', Huzh. I hate that your Church is not supporting you. Your predicament is very reminiscent of other DB'ers, like Lovely Olive. I know it is painful to see people who profess a strong closeness with God fail utterly to live by the values they so proclaim.
And then I remember that they are human too, just as fallible as the rest of us, often even more-so. Sad-to-say.
