Dreams of a New Normal...

[RedSoxFan]

well, you're right it wasn't much of a fight but it suggests some signs of assuming responsibility for the situation and the answer...as opposed to blaming others. I haven't read your entire thread but it seems like a positive sign if I understand your sitch.

[aliveandkicking]

Thanks. What sucks is that I give two sh*ts at this point. I'm supposed to be detached...

[RedSoxFan]

does that mean that you do care and shouldn't or you don't care and shouldn't?

[aliveandkicking]

Ha, hey maybe giving two sh*ts and a total of two sh*ts is just fine...

I meant that I care and I shouldn't, but, looking at it another way, two sh*ts isn't much and I should just give myself a break.

[RedSoxFan]

yep. Time to give yourself a break! You've earned it and then some

[aliveandkicking]

Ya, it seems obvious that he doesn't have OW right now, has been testing the waters with me and with my rejection and time on his hands will just fill the gap with someone else...

Yes, I am mind-reading, speculating, wheel spinning etc. and what I want is to focus on moving on with my life...I have those tiny little what ifs that I am NOT acting upon because I know this isn't gonna cut it for me (being the fallback gal) but, it annoys me that I get thrown off so easily.

And, Gucci is right that my stress is my problem. The only thing that is compelling no matter what angle I look at this from, is my kids and what they are going through...keeps me emotionally invested and it probably always will. I just have to handle it.

How's your night going RSF?

[RedSoxFan]

Having a good night...hanging with the kids, made homemade pizzas, doing facebook stuff, thinking about how much I wanted to tell W that I loved her when I picked the kids up and how bummed I am that she's at the campground with OM at this memorial thing. It's just always hard and I wonder how long I can hold out being the white night....but all-in-all I'm good. Thanks for asking.

How about you?

[aliveandkicking]

Hanging with the kids, gonna get them to bed early. Thinking about whether to discuss a settlement agreement with H now or wait until I have the $$ to file (and if that should be D or sep. agreement).

Off to focus on the kiddos.

Trust me, we've all been there with wanting to say ILY...it blows. But, it gets better.

What would not being the white knight be? what are your options? Has divorce come up? Some people find it useful to set a timeline (of course it can always be revised). At least you know that there is some limit for yourself.

[RedSoxFan]

well, we have an agreement that I would stop hassling her about OM and she would agree to hold off on the disillusion paperwork. Obviously, it takes two to agree on disillusion. If you read the emails that we exchanged during the last 24 hours you can see that she came back to suggesting that we move forward with the disillusion. In fact you must have read her email cuz I think you pulled a quote from it. My gut is that she was frustrated and didn't mean it but I don't know. I'd be curious to know what you think when you have a minute.

Email is on this page:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1820958&page=22

[aliveandkicking]

Yes, I read it. I get the threads confused though so wanted to be clear.