Looks like I might soon be LBS...newcomer here

[brownidmom]

H has refused IC and his degrees are both in SW. He says he doesn't need any help, though he believes it is good for people. He is a good father, both S's, especially S6, adore him. His distrust hurts me so much. He has paternity tests done when I was away on business 2y ago. Broke my heart and pissed me off at the same time. I have asked him to leave, told him to leave but he won't when I ask. I have told him he couldn't sleep in our bed in the past and he always does the exact opposite.

I had been househunting for the last y for a single home with a large yard (we have a twin with smaller yard). I finally found one in May and on the day we were to go put in offer (Mother's Day), he asked, "Why am I going to see this house again?" Then he told me that he wouldn't put his name on a contract to buy another house with me, would sign to sell this one so we could go our separate ways. We have talked for several years about wanting a bigger yard for the boys to grow up in.

I thought at first about selling the house and buying one for myself and the boys, but then I thought that if we are going our separate ways, he should leave. I can afford our current home by myself and don't want to put the boys through a move and the loss of a 2-parent home at the same time.

I have been wanting to go back to school so I can change careers. I make great $ but not happy in my job. I am going to put that on the back burner now because he could try to use that against me if we split up, in terms of custody.

Regardless of whether or not our M is salvageable, I need to go through the DB process just for the GALing for myself, not feeling like I have to constantly please him, etc. I am almost over blaming myself for lying in the first place. I know that I created the mistrust in the first place but H is making the choice to hold onto it.