I was in IC for a while. When she told me that I was young enough to find true love again, I never went back.
I think a good therapist doesn't tell you what to do. Their are pro-marriage counselors who believe in the importance of marriage, and I wouldn't continue to see one like that either.
I don't think it matters why he has issues; point is they are his issues. I don't think though you should allow him to emotionally abuse you or treat you negatively because of those. You need to be strong and not allow that.
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Over the years, I have come to realize I don't like everything about H but he makes me feel safe and I never got married with an attitude of D if it got too hard. I said for better or worse. The boys make it much more complicated. I want so much for them to be happy, terrified of what an S or D will do to them.
I agree with the attitude better or worse. I do think if abuse or drugs or whatever are involved that shouldn't be the case though.
I think it's right to be concerned about what D does to kids. On the other hand, you don't want fear to ever be a main motivation for your choices in life. I used to be like that and it wasn't a healthy way to live.
Does your H realize he's got problems with this kind of behavior? Have you talked about him getting IC?
