Just want my H back

[pearlharbr]

Pearl - I assume it took awhile for you to trust BF again after he'd been acting like a jerk and w the OW and all.

Still working through this issue. Will take a long time and still not sure I can get there.

When you guys were separated, did you just try to think of the bad/mean side of him to constantly encourage yourself that you deserved better? Or did you just try to not think of him at all?

At first I was stuck remembering all the good stuff but when I finally got it and kicked him out of the house I honestly didn't think about it or what he was doing. I threw myself into GAL activities and was too busy with dance classes, going out with my friends and planning my move to SF.

How did you come to trust him again after what he did?

Still haven't, see above and my current thread. But that's not something you should be worrying about right now.

Did you actually date others? Is it strange that I'm afraid if I date others I might develop feelings for someone else, and feel less committed to H? I know this is so silly given that it's what he's doing, but part of me is afraid of that..

No, not really. I knew that I was in no shape to date because I needed to get myself right first. But I did go out and enjoy lots of male attention. I flirted with the guys at the sports bar while watching football and I met several other men during those months who paid me lots of compliments. It was great for my ego! But I did end up meeting someone I had a connection with just as BF and I were getting back together. It was difficult to sort through all the feelings there but in the end I decided to give my R with BF 100% of my effort to see if it was viable or not.

You don't have to know Gucci's story to follow his advice (heck, I don't even know his story). Go back and read some of my old threads or check out Dudess's current thread. The point is knowing that you deserve a man who will treat you with respect and love. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't do that?

FYI, I'm going on vacation for 10 days so I won't be around here. Gmail me if you need to talk.

PS, read Dobson's Love Must Be Tough. I usually can't stand all his FOTF crap but this book really opened my eyes.