In Limbo

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Sara,

My wife came home at 3am last night, 4am last weekend. Just getting tired of it. Last week she was also out 3 other nights. So what did I do, I started the argument. Why, because I am tired of being walked on. Tired of waking up at 2am and wondering if she is OK. So when she got home, I just said the dreaded where were you....I got, I don't ask where you were. I responded I wish you did. I just said don't you understand that the people in this house care about you. Anyway, after a brief argument. And her saying, "I am moving out, no you move out...We went to sleep. This morning, which is the best time to communicate with her, I got the same story--I still want a divorce. But I want to wait till we can be friends. I still said, that won't happen. The other thing she metioned is that you still aren't doing the changes you still leave things laying around. I said c'mon you aren't divorcing me because I left a shirt on the ground. And, you haven't seen anything on the ground in 4 months. I cook, clean, do laundry you name it I do it. These still aren't the real reasons she wants out. She then said "you have been knocking yourself out to make your self trying to look attractive to me(I bought a bunch of new going out clothes). It is a joke. Why didn't you keep the clothes I used to buy for you instead of taking them back to the store." I said there is another example of me making changes for me and I won't lie, for you. And you call it a joke. Sara, I thought I had enough going out clothes at the time....

Anyway, at that point I mentioned Retrouville. Suprisingly she said yes. I said this is something you have to be open to. She said I am. I will take it as a positive step. So we are registered on 10/23. That will at least give her time with her new therapist she starts on Sept 10 to work with her on her other issues. I just can't sit idlely by in Limbo week after week month after month in Limbo. I feel unless we do development communication between us, we will remain in limbo until one of us cries uncle and files. Something tells me she could wait it out for years with me DB'ing....Some people can do that, I know that is something I can't do. Not fair to myself or our sons.

So hopefully, it isn't just her trying to appease me and that there is some semblance of her serious about wanting to try. Even though this morning she said she was done with the marriage.