Quote: And the only reason that she holds that resentment for me is because of the sex argument! She said that she wants to be intimate with me, but if she tries (I'm not really sure what she means by "trying") she has an anxiety attack because she's worried about having the argument.
There is alot of mental stuff that goes into "trying" when you're a person whose desire may kick in after getting started. You wouldn't be able to see that part of trying. Perhaps that's what she is referring to. That's what I'd be referring to.
Then there is the anxiety of what if nothing happens!? You want/plan on being intimate, but what if your body DOESN'T respond once you get started?! What if ultimately you're unable to go through with it?! Are you going to be faced with the sex argument?! Is he going to get upset, disappointed, angry or worst of all, hurt?! Is he going to think you're not trying hard enough or somehow you're deliberately trying to hurt him?! Is he going to see himself as a victim of some sort of cold-hearted selfishness on your part?!
Not saying that's what you're thinking. Might be some of what she's thinking. Then she starts to feel resentment toward you because none of what she thinks you might be thinking fits her perception of what's going on within herself and between the two of you.
Goes back to being in this together rather than struggling against each other. Maybe you need to ask her to just describe what it is like for her to want to be intimate but not be able to get past the resentment. Ask her to tell you more about the resentment. Don't argue with her feelings or perception of things. Let her know you're her friend and that her feelings of resentment must cause her alot of pain.
