If it has only been four months, then she may not be ready for any pressure. I know it's been a long time to you and it seems longer even here on the board, but I would not have been ready that soon. The fact she is in a friendly place with you is good and to slowly work up to getting more affectionate is probably a safer way to go. You know her better than anyone else, so go with you gut.
For what it worth, my H putting his arm around the back of the theater seat would not have bothered me as much as trying to hold my hand. Hand holding is more intimate.
I do think it is a little early to try to hold her hand. But if I occasionally "accidentally" brush up against her loading the dishwasher, well....
I have been very careful not to pursue. If there is one thing I think I have done correctly, it is that.
If I were a betting man, and I'm not, I would guess she is starting to allow herself to believe my changes are real and not just a ploy to keep her. Whether she believes the changes are real or not is not the point. They ARE real, and whatever she chooses, I will not change back to the old version of me even I did not like.
I have noticed she seems to be moving "towards" me without saying it. She lingers in the den (where we always watch tv or surf the web) until after I leave to go to bed. This past week, I could sense she was disappointed?? I went to bed rather than stay up with her. She used to say "good night" or "sleep well" with a very confident tone, that seemed to suugest she was great with the sleeping arrangements. Lately, I dtect the beginnings of sorrw?? in her tone when she say "good night."
W seems a lot happier with herself since she quit her job. She is still looking for a new job, but she really seems happy. The extra money from her working would be nice, but I would much rather us be happy. You can't put a price on that.
One thing that really sticks out in mind is something she said when she dropped the bomb in April. And that was in response to my request that she hold off on making a final decision about D until I could show her I could change (this was pre-DB). She responded with "Well, I will wait, but I'm not going to wait six months." Well, right now, it's been a little over four months since that time. And I do not sense her pulling away. I sense her moving "towards" me.
