Quote: So stress, worry and fear of what? It could be that she feels that once she gives you sex, you are only going to want it more. So she feels that giving it to you once is going to tame the beast for a night, maybe, but then the beast gets bigger, and wants sex more, and that will only lead to more arguments... (this is just a guess on my part based on my own experience, so I could be really off base here).
Actually Corri, your guess may very well be on the mark. In trying to understand the fears that may be preventing my wife from "just doing it", I had actually guessed the exact same thing - so far that's been the only thing that I can come up with.
Quote: the two of you have failed to communicate
I agree completely and have known for a long time that we have a communication problem. But even though I haven't been able to successfully communicate what my needs mean to me, I've tried my butt off! I don't know anything else to try. And getting her to open up and communicate to me is nearly impossible. So what can I do?
Quote: You said yourself you do not understand why she feels anxious, because to you, the answer is simple. But your answer for her anxiousness is not her answer... so she continues to feel misunderstood and frustrated.
I agree, and when what she told me didn't seem to make any sense, I figured it must be one of those greek/french (or mars/venus) things. Can you translate for me?
Quote: Do you see now how this is a communication problem and not an issue of sex (even though I know that's what it feels like to you.)
Yes, I definitely see that it's a communication problem, and that, or whatever is causing her resentment towards me, is the underlying problem. But considering that the underlying problem, whatever it is, hasn't affected any part of our relationship besides sex (and intimacy in general), I still tend to see it primarily as a sex problem. I honestly think that once we start having sex again on a regular basis, the problem will be resolved. I don't doubt that our inability to communicate will again cause other problems, but I think (and hope) that they'll be differnt problems.
Quote: I know guy, you are so horny right now you just want to get laid and I really do understand that.
I think that was intended to console me, so thank you for that. But I've got to admit that I'm surprised at you Corri - that statement really trivializes the issue. Of course I'd be lying if I told you that I wasn't horny and wanting to get laid. Nonetheless, I think you know that there's a lot more to this issue than just that. By the way, just so you know that what you said didn't offend me, I'm really just trying to give you a hard time here.
Quote: I'm a pain in the ass, I know.
Yeah, but in a good sort of way!
Thanks for your input Corri - it's always very much appreciated.
