It really is hard, GG. You have been married for a long time and it's a very gradual process.
Some days you feel great, others, you just want to curl up in the fetal position. I do know that it didn't help me one bit to fake it. If I felt crummy, I stayed home and had a good cry. If I felt ok, I went out with friends. In my case, I was very fortunate to have wonderful friends and family to lean on.
It can take years to heal enough so you can move on. Much longer if you choose to stand for an additional two, three, five years.....and it doesn't work out for you.
The timeline is different for everyone, but I found that I didn't really start to heal until the D was final.
