Putting Out the Fire with Gasoline...

[blindsided1]

So, the guy I "hooked up" with has called me multiple times in the last few days. He's really sweet. But, he just isn't "the guy" for me and I know this. I am just trying to keep it as friends and hope that he's fine with that, as well.

On another note....K and another toddler went for the same toy on Monday. K tried to bite the toddler on the stomach, that baby retaliated and bit her on the arm. So, I let ExH know and ask if she has been bitting when she is with him and he says:

EH: ya and I smacked her mouth and said no and she did not bite me again
Me: be careful about the hitting because she'll learn to hit. I stopped smacking her hand and now give time-outs and I think they have been working better
EH: I dont hit her, I smack her. Hitting and smacking are two different thins
Me: I wasn't accusing you of anyting. I'm sorry if I worded it wrong. Try giving a time-out next time. See if that works. I think she's still too young to understand physical punishment and I worry that she'll just mimic that behavior
EX: No
Me: Fine. Thanks for being so helpful. Good night.

So, the man refuses to try anything other than physical punishment. Great, just great. I want to smack him in the mouth.

[Andabelle]

Definitely document THAT.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

haha, maybe you should have said, okay, I'll make sure to smack you in the mouth when you are bad. lol

hey, this is prolly one of those things that I think you need to "pick your battles". not that I condone smacking her on the mouth, but I have to admit, I've done that myself, altho my kid was 2-3 sayin words he shouldn't be. I think it's retarded for him to be so stubborn, but we already know that is how he will react most of the time.

why don't you do this next time. Instead of telling him to try something different, tell him what you've been doing and how it has worked and leave it at that. if your not telling him what to do, then maybe he will choose to use your idea next time. of course, who will know, but I think the less you TELL him what to do, the more chance he might actually do what you want.

on the new guy. I'm glad that you did not "seal the deal", I know you would have regretted that later, and I'm glad that you are not wanting an R right now. Honestly, I think you still have a lot of growing to do within yourself. You've come a very long way from where you were, but you still have more to go. Just be really careful, because it is very easy to get back into an R, especially in these times when we really crave attention. And another thing, is anything the 'new' guy does is going to probably look like a God send compared to the xH. you know, kinda like when your starving to death and anything tastes good?

seems like a logical thought anyways.

fyi, I'm proud of you for not going all the way.

[blindsided1]

Thanks ST. I'm glad I didn't either. But, I have to admit the companionship and feeling cared for and knowing I totally turned someone on like that...felt really good. But, I know he isn't it. I know this. He is a really great guy and a good friend, but he has a lot of the same qualities as my Ex. They even look alike. So, I'm trying to be more cautious about my feelings and how I act upon them.

As for Ex....I try not to TELL him what to do. Sometimes I word it wrong. I just wish he cared more about K's upbringing than his own desire to "win" or be "right". I have 17 more years of this crap with him. I can't even imagine. So, maybe I should go back to leaving him out of the loop unless it is an emergency. That seems to work better. If he wants to be part of her life outside of his visitation time..he can make the effort. I seem to be fighting an uphill battle.

[Startingover2]

Ok, your exh is scary. I really worry about K being with him.

[blindsided1]

Yes, yes he is.

[blindsided1]

Just wanted to stop in and say hello. Had a nice weekend with K. No contact with ExH in over a week....it seems that I do much better...the less contact I have with him. His Mom is in town and K and I had dinner with her Sunday and we'll see her tonight, also. Other than that...life is a tad quiet. It's nice, thought...because it's not going to stay that way. Just trying to relax..get all the loose ends ties up. Next step...new job.

[Startingover2]

I hope you find a new job soon.

A whole week with no contact? Wow...I wish I had that and maybe I would be farther down the healing road than I am with the constant contact and crap.

[Sugar and Spice]

Hey Chic! I just wanted to stop by and see how you are doing. I'm glad you had no contact for over a week, I'd still be waiting to "smack him in the mouth" especially if its different than "hitting." Let me see him explain THAT ONE to the judge...ASS!!

Sounds like you are giving off the "HOT DIVORCED MOM" vibe, good for you. Does wonders for the PMA, huh?

Hope all is still well, have a great weekend!

[S.T. _I Made It!]

hey there! ya, 1 week, that is crazy. but, thinking back, when my H and I had our first baby, he was living with his mom in OK and I with mine in KS and you know, he really didn't have a great bond with our son. I mean he was away from him for 3-4 years. I mean, how can you do that? he saw him 1-2 times a month. I really think some guys just don't get that feeling, well, I know they don't get those feelings like us moms do, they are wired different. so until they have something in common with the kids, they don't always bond well.

at least though you are able to get your life on track... as for SO2, that would be difficult when your constantly being dragged back in.

enjoy these peaceful moments. I'm glad you had a good weekend with K. they grow up fast.