He has been leaving tickets to plays etc he has been to lying around but I have said nothing, asked nothing. I think he wanted me to see them. So I saw them. UH HUH? Ordinarily the old Kara would have asked a bunch of questions but not me, not now. I am just not going there.I am not investing that energy.
This is quite funny. Tuesday night I was going out with friends and dressed in sexy jeans, a halter top, heels and with my hair just the way H likes it. I was spraying on perfume in the bathroom when he passed by on his way out. He stopped, stared and walked down the stairs. Two seconds later he was back at the bathroom door reminding me about paying the newspaper guy. Really!!! We got back home about the same time and as I was in my room taking off my heels he stopped in the doorway and stared.
Well, here's the thing. I have done a hell of a lot of inside and outside work on myself. Coach always says that you will come out of this a better person. Well, I can honestly say that I am a better and more mature person. I know that I am a good catch and any man would be lucky to have me as I now know what real love looks like and is displayed like. I was immature and selfish in many respects but I don't think I am that girl anymore.
And you know what? H will come to me. That is the only way this works. It can't work with me running him down or going to him. I am not going there because I know my worth and I am not that desperate person anymore. He has always known that I want to work on M but he also now knows for quite a while that I am not begging anyone to stick with me. He has to come because he knows what I am worth.
I see love in my future so I am not afraid. I have put everything in God's hands so I am not afraid. All my dreams, my hopes, my unfulfilled wishes. I choose not to let anger consume me. I give it its place and then let it go. The present is good at this moment. And the future is bright and I might just have to wear shades. I am proud of my fellow DBusters and we WILL MAKE IT! (PREACH!!!)
