If it has only been four months, then she may not be ready for any pressure. I know it's been a long time to you and it seems longer even here on the board, but I would not have been ready that soon. The fact she is in a friendly place with you is good and to slowly work up to getting more affectionate is probably a safer way to go. You know her better than anyone else, so go with you gut.
For what it worth, my H putting his arm around the back of the theater seat would not have bothered me as much as trying to hold my hand. Hand holding is more intimate.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
