Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

In turn, it's unfortunate that my XW now is begining to see the err of her ways. Of course now the excuse is we're divorced because I hurried it along and she wanted to drag it out, "to think".

BJ,
I think you have done the right thing in your filing. My divorce is final today and I have to say, like dday that if given more time, things would be different. This week she finally started dicussing the idea of leaving the door open after the divorce. The fact is for me though, that now I need time before I can even consider to the idea.

Separating physically was the best thing we could do, because it made her start to think. We came close, just not enough time.

Dday/SG:

Interesting that both of your WAW's reacted the way they did after the D was final. I am curious- what do you think made them react that way? Was it the trauma of the D experience that woke them up or something associated with realizing now how bad being D is? Was there any significant "awakening" - or at least a significant decrease in their sociopathic WAW behaviors before the D was final?

Right now I would describe my W's behavior as alternating between either being calmly belligerent and/or completely uncaring towards me while smiling and acting happy around our kids and others. As one family friend put it, you would never know that my W and I are having marital problems given the way she is acting in public.

My W told me the other night that there was a "slim" chance of reconciliation before I crashed her recent vacation and that I "completely blew any chance" of reconciliation once I filed for D. My response to that was "B.S.- why would you say that now after repeatedly making statements to me like 'I'm done, don't you get it?' or 'Our M is over, don't you get it?'" What is the point saying these things to me- to make me feel bad...or to make her feel good? Especially when she seems emotionally detached from me. BTW, she also commented on wanting us to physically S before I filed, however that was conditional on ME moving out of our house, not HER (the excuse being that "the kids need to be with their mother".)

Aside from giving more time for a physical S, was there anything else you could have said or done in the interim period that might have changed things between you and your W?