The most difficult part is waiting it out and not knowing. H shows signs here and there of wanting to work on things but I do not push at all.
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Patience...it's a quality that I've never really embraced...and now I have no choice. Boy oh boy what a pill to swallow.
Man, I am SOOOO there right now. I know it's just selfish to an extent to want W to come to me and want to work on the M. I'm a little grumpy with my friend, time. But, I know time is my friend.
This morning H was being all loving so I ask why. H says he still loves me and doesn't have plans to leave. I asked if he still had plans to meet OW. H lies, says he doesn't know where I got that from. I said his name and gave him a look. H relented and said they did talk about meeting but it is not going to happen. Whether it's the truth remains to be seen. I was pleased that at least he admitted they had talked about it.
The sitch regarding S is beyond stressful. An accusation was made against him by a cousin and S insists it did not happen. I believe S but am completely baffled why his cousin would lie. Honestly I have no idea how to handle it. To top it off, I've been told the SIL that I've been close to has said some things about S. I have yet to talk to her.
There's only so much I can take. Once again, I wish I had a rock to climb under...
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
I truly believe we are not given mopre than we can handle. Deep breath, then back to work. You should know by now that you are much stronger than you ever knew.
Yesterday afternoon when I got home from my sister's, H told me he loves me and wants to work on our M. H said he just needs to stop the R with OW. I didn't say anything.
Last night we went to the Britney concert (yes, Britney Spears...which was incredible btw) and had a great time.
This morning H hugs and kisses me goodbye and tells me he loves me and swears he wants the M to work and no more games. This afternoon he sent me a text saying he is sorry for everything he has put me through and he loves me. A little later he calls me because he said he misses me.
I'm trying to stay calm....
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
...and all words. When actions start to come behind it, it'll mean more. I really hope he's not just blowing smoke...but time will tell.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
So hard not to get your hopes up....I know this all too well, I will have you in my prayers. Remember sometimes they pull back after doing something like this becasue it freaks them out.
