He said (?) that he's taking a break from the OW, but since she's the VP of his company and has been after him for almost 2 years, I doubt she's going to surrender him back to me very easily. He also says he's not 'attracted' to me and doesn't feel attractive to me. What do I do with that?
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Kimmie Lee, Left you a message on Facebook as well.
I ain't too good (love the language) at this detaching stuff!!! Wish he would see the light and come home and be my old hubby of yesteryear. Yeah, I'm sure we all wish that don't we!
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
You can't do anything about the attractiveness thing. I can't believe how many WASs use that line. My W did. Don't let that lower your self-esteem.
WASs in an A will knock their LBS down to build themselves up. Don't think for a minute that the OW is "chasing after him". He likes the attention he's getting plain and simple. He's saying things about your "faults" to keep you strung along. This is from a guy's POV.
Go out and live. Detach. Don't contact him. Don't answer his calls. Nothing. Live as if you were single.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
gg How old is your H? Yes we all did or some still wish yjeir H will come home But time really does heal I never ever,,reaLLY thought there would be a time that I didnt want XH back but I feel that now I definitely would not go back to xh in the state he is in for me, I believe the rise has ended in that way Because of the kids and our business, we have ties and XH is difficult in the state he is in If not for kids and buiness, I would most likely never speak to him again peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I just go out and try to act like I'm okay and I get more depressed. Everyone is married! I was happy and we were supposed to spend our lives together....what the hell happened? I am detaching, I am not contacting him, I am doing my best...but it's hard. How much time before I'm healed? I want to be happy again! I just really appreciate people stopping by and adding some comments.
Me 47 H 42 Married 20 years No kids bomb 5/09
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
We've all been here. Some of us still ARE here. Just a suggestion for you on the going out part. I tried the acting like I'm OK part and it was clearly an act and it did nothing but frustrate myself. I had to change my thinking to "I'm going to do this because it makes me happy ... and I really need to get out of the house." Do things to make YOU happy. I looked at like a bonus having to deal with all her stupidity. I'm gonna go spend the weekend in Steamboat with a friend and it will be awesome, not because I'm pretending, but because Steamboat (and my friend) make me happy.
I got the "I'm not attracted to you" thing too. It's BS.
It really is hard, GG. You have been married for a long time and it's a very gradual process.
Some days you feel great, others, you just want to curl up in the fetal position. I do know that it didn't help me one bit to fake it. If I felt crummy, I stayed home and had a good cry. If I felt ok, I went out with friends. In my case, I was very fortunate to have wonderful friends and family to lean on.
It can take years to heal enough so you can move on. Much longer if you choose to stand for an additional two, three, five years.....and it doesn't work out for you.
The timeline is different for everyone, but I found that I didn't really start to heal until the D was final.
