Thanks for the suggestion. I've read before about how getting away from the house and the kids is one of the best ways to rekindle romance. And I have no doubt that doing so can often work wonders. But I'm skeptical about it working with my wife. I think that if I make any mention of making love to her at some point in the future, she'll either have a fit right then or, if she manages to try and go along with it (which I doubt), her anxiety will build up to the point that there won't be any chance of anything happening. Also, I think that at this point she wouldn't consider having sex either in a place where there was a possibility of getting caught or dashing into a motel just for the sake of sex. I could be very wrong - that's just the impression that I get from her.
I've tried making time for us to be alone - both regular dates and weekends out of town - but if she thinks there's some possibility that I'll use that opportunity to initiate sex she becomes extremely "guarded". It doesn't help that I get my hopes up, then when she does everything possible to make sure that we don't have sex (or kiss, or cuddle, or anything else) it breaks my heart. I end up saying something, the sex argument starts, and we have a terrible time from that point on.
Now I haven't ever gone about it in the mysterious way that you've suggested, and I certainly won't rule that out, but I just wanted to point out what I think would happen. However, that doesn't mean I'm right, so set me strait if there's something that I'm failing to understand.
I sometimes think that my wife enjoyed sex when we were dating because it was "forbidden", and now that we're married there's no thrill in it for her because there's nothing wrong with it. So from that standpoint, I've wondered if she might get turned on by the thought of having sex in a somewhat risky setting. However, she's really never given me any reason to believe that. More likely, when we were dating she feared losing me and therefore had a lot of motivation to make me happy. While I don't think that she purposely "trapped" me, the fact that our sex life basically disappeared the moment we exchanged rings makes me think that she lost the subconcious motivation that she previously had.
Elle, regardless of how it may sound, I actually do think that your suggestion has some merit and I appreciate your input. I hope that you'll continue to offer some suggestions.
