There is a BIG difference between an R discussion and a discussion to set or enforce a boundary or to improve the partnership.
In my own mind I coined the terms "Boundary Discussion" and "Partnership Discussion"
R discussions are pursuit - "Let's talk about us" - I have tried like He11 to avoid these.
Boundary discussions are short and direct, and are about a specific thing that the other person did (a specific incident, not "You always..."), combined with the impact and consequences. "You did X, which caused me to do Y or feel Z, If you do this again then..."
Partnership discussions are specifically designed to improve the way you work together in your current sitch - coordination, division of duties, etc. "Let's compare schedules to figure out who goes where this week." "Here's where we are vs our budget for this month"
Avoiding R discussions does not mean you should avoid Boundary or Partnership discussions. These other two are critical.
BIG NOTE: None of these discussions are for dealing with anger and resentment. You have to deal with those on your own.
That's great stuff, Thinker. Did you come up with it on your own? It is a really important distinction to make and I think most people are unaware of it.
As for praying for couples at Retrouvaille... absolutely, you'd be surprised how many people are praying for you while you are there. I will pray for all of the DB couples who go.
