Quote: Thanks for your input concerning your experiences with counseling. It's nice to know that I'm not the only person who never envisioned going to a counselor but is now deciding that it could be of great benefit. Your situation is probably the main reason that I've started thinking seriously about it so I'm really pulling for you and your husband to make some amazing progress - both for your sake and to validate the effectiveness of counseling in my mind. I'm curious to find out how your session went tonight. Best of luck to you, and for what it's worth I think your husband attempts to work on the problem are a real testimony of his love for you. Go easy on him and realize how much anxiety he's probably dealing with right now. I'm sure that as that anxiety goes away things will get much better.Sooner
Hey, Sooner! Here's a recap of yesterday: 1. Saw Med Dr. in the morning, BP very high, after 45 mins of mostly tears we decide to start daily 10mg of Lexapro (side effects for me 1st day were a bit of wooziness and a lot of trips to the bathroom ) 2. Talked to H at 1pm and told him. He was devastated thinking he's the problem and he didn't see it. Told him our problem was not the TOTAL cause of my depression and he could not have foreseen it. 3. Saw C later in the afternoon. Another very good session.
I can't tell you how satisfied I am with the C we are seeing. My H finds the C easy to talk with, too. During last night's session, my H learned that he is bothered more than I with my lack of reaching O during sex. *I* get much satisfaction from just the act itself. C & H talked about this for a while with H now knowing that I'm quite happy with his performance in bed.
After more talk between H&C, H now is beginning to really believe it when I tell him I love him unconditionally. H talked a bit about how in the past that had not been the case and he was leary. C validated his feelings and pointed out that that could also be the cause of his pulling back on sex. That once a person starts giving their all, they become vulnerable; that H is afraid *I* will do the same thing. H agreed that it's a possibility that he feels that way. Anyway, more talk between H&C about that & H felt better about that.
Next appt is in two weeks. We had to devise a way of signaling our partner that we were 'interested' that night. We chose to use our dart board. When one of us wants to initiate we put a dart in the bullseye If the other one is interested we leave it there, if not, we remove the dart. BUT --- if it's Not Tonight, then we have to give a reason/or reason to hope. [Ex: How about tomorrow morning/night? I'm tired, or my back hurts. But it just can't be No.]
So yes, things are working out. I hope they continue to do so and that you, too, find someone you are comfortable in speaking with so candidly. Barbara
Here's a recap of yesterday:
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