This email just in from W. I really need help on this one. I will post it here (scribbed) and try to calm down and relaz a bit. I could really use some help here on what to do:
"I've been spending a lot of time thinking about the memorial outing that is scheduled for Saturday. I've been struggling with what to do because if I go you will be disappointed and if I do not go OM will be disappointed. I tried to think about what I want and the conclusion is I want to go. Wife of person being memorialized has been a friend of mine since junior high and it was her husband that died and he was OM’s best friend. He had 2 sons and 2 step sons and this outing is as much about them as him. If I wasn't seeing OM I would without a doubt want to be there so the only reason I would not be going is because of your reaction. I have to be able to do things for the right reasons and not do things for the right reason. Not going would be for the wrong reason. Saturday afternoon is a canoeing outing followed by a band at the camp ground. This is kid friendly event because Memorialized Guy’s friends and kids kids will be there. I would like to take our kids on the canoe trip and to hang out afterwards for the grill out and band. There are going to be a bunch of people - this will not be a W and OM outing. I have no intention to camp there for the night. I want to run this by you to see if you are okay with that. Our kids will be safe and will not be exposed to anything they should not be exposed. If you object to them going to the canoe outing and the band portion then can they stay with you? I really would feel very bad about not going. I think about my cousin and his kids (her cousin died in a similar way) and I really think going is the right thing to do regardless of whether I date OM in the future or not."
She expects you to be disappointed and upset. How would a strong, confident and honorable man (knight) handle this?
"Mrs RSF, I understand your feelings about wanting to go and support your friend. I also respect the fact you are aware of how this could effect the kids, I appreciate you honoring that boundary. If you feel that strongly about attending because it is the right thing for you to do I will support you in that decision. How can I help you get the kids ready?"
Don't say squat about the OM. Talk about her feelings, supporting her, the kids boundary. That's my .02 worth.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
