I would just keep putting one foot in front of the another until you get to the end.
That's the only way, the old Infantryman's mantra, pick 'em up, put 'em down. For me, the mental game is the hardest part in terms of the training. My so-called "best friend," He Who Talked Me Into This Mischigas, gets to run with his wife. I run alone. And even though I have the music pumping, whenever I find myself catching up to another runner I find myself instinctively pacing on her/him until (usually she) freaks out like I'm some kind of rapist. So that doesn't last long.... (Not that I blame them, the women I mean, it IS a dangerous world.)
Oh, I expect I'll finish, but it'll be finishing ugly. Still, "Whatever It Takes" (Coach Ditka, 8/89).
As to WAW.
Still processing. Why the anger? I think because of the simple disrespect. I tend to take these things fairly seriously -- "Oh, NOW you're interested?" Foreign Female Friend asked my on Skype today, "Do you feel married?" She's come to the place in her own D -- FFFH walked out and just didn't return after she'd picked up bag and baggage and moved halfway around the world to help him out -- where her answer is, "No."
And I thought about it, and my answer was, "No, I feel like a person who was married." The funny thing is that I wanted to say, "yes." But "yes" felt phony, and "no" felt....well, right.
And the other thing is, I'm not feeling any attraction to WAW anymore (as, for example, our friend and colleague @aliveandkicking still does from time-to-time with Monsoor) or, to be frank, even any real affection for her. I'm not sure I like her all that much -- I mean, she's a nice person, good at her job, generally good with the kids, but I don't think I'd be pursuing her if we were single, for example (i.e., with no prior history).
What I felt as recently as June seems to have waned -- I just don't see her as my mate anymore. Some of this is a function of the things she's said about me to others; some of it is a function of who she's become. She said to Fabulous MC#2 -- and another appointment is scheduled for Tuesday week -- that she wants to "get to know me again." I'm not sure I want to get to know her.
I'm actually at an equilibrium, now. It's not the one I would have picked, but it is one. And I'm more than a little bit leery of upsetting the apple cart.
