Calm down and breathe. I know it is a hard choice to make and right now it sounds like everyone is blaming you for everything. I am NOT saying you don't own some of it, but you don't own all of it. There are two people there and two people allowed this situation to be created.
I know it hurts when it seems/feels like your H doesn't care as much as you want him to. I also know that it sounds and looks bad, but I also know on more than one occasion of men being the one's to be done and also being the one's to want to come back. So never say never. Unless you are ready to be done. It may be the best thing for you. I totally understand why you want to be done with the anger and hatred. That is something that makes me want to get rid of my H on a weekly basis. Then there is other stuff.
I wish Mach were around with his wisdom, but he has been awol for a week now. You have a support system either way.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
