First, I want to Thank you all for your support and advice. Now..I wish I could take the advice I have been given but I am driven by fear..fear the A which I am pretty sure is going on will end my marriage no matter what changes I make..I want to leave but what if he likes being away from me...what if he like having 0 resposibility and when will he realize that he needs his family and end the A what if he loves her. What if they get married. In my head I feel like she is his wife. Like he has a committment to her and as far as he is concerned the M is over! My chest hurts. I feel empowered at times but other times I feel like a joke. I read the book last night but I feel like no matter what changes I make he is just done. In his mind it is too late. How do I know it is too late? See..the thing about all of this is I KNOW the OW very well. She was my best friend..she saw the birth of our first child. I know what she is capable of and this woman has tried to be me since I first met her. she tried to dress like me and have the same interests as me..she still does. After I found out the first time I said awful things to her..she wants revenge...she always tried to undermind my accomplishment when we were friend..I am afriad my husband will never end this....I am also afraid he will never realize what he had with me, H said he would get his own apartment or rent a room..he has NEVER lived alone..first his father..then his sisters and last me...I fear I am just not good enough for him...and he said this will not affect D or S because they are so young..I say BS! All of this is BS...I just want peace in my life..for 3 years I have been trying to get OW OUT of our lives..again..she has 3 kids and she is very materialistic..so opposite of me AND H...I wish I never would befriended her..after it all happened I even gave her a second chance..This OW has accused her father in law of molesting her daughter,called children services on people..got some woman fired at work because she said she bumped her car..she is not a nice person..and I dont trust her..I dont trust my husband is strong enough to end it..he was not remorseful the first time...I feel so helpless..