T,

I see you doing really well and really badly in the same post. This is bad:
Quote:
I have found myself getting angry at our sitch, and in WAS mode have found myself now looking at our whole R in a negative light and started thinking "She's never going to change, It'll never be good, so we should just end it now"


Great example of negative self-talk, one of the biggest obstacles to improving one's marriage.

This is good:
Quote:
Right now I need a good dose of patience and acceptance. We are spending time together. She is trying. We are going to Retrouvaille in 19 days. Yesterday she called me from the mall where she was looking at a potential replacement for her wedding ring. All good things.


Excellent recognition of the good things in your marriage. Keep your focus on this. And it's great that you are spending quality time with MIL even if wife is shirking her responsibilities.

And I believe that handled with tact and gentleness, your new N.U.T. is an excellent one. It is important to communicate and not bury problems under the rug.