Thanks for your input Lee. It definitely makes sense to bring up the sex talk when nothing is expected. A lot of our arguments have been right after I've gotten rejected - not really a deliberate attempt to talk to her, just a case of blowing up. I previously haven't wanted to bring up the subject when things are going well because I usually feel like she's slowly coming around and by bringing it up I'll wipe out any progress that I've made to that point. However, what I've been doing hasn't been working, so it's time to find some new ways to deal with the problem. Approaching my wife when things are going well, we're both in fairly good moods, and sex isn't a possibility might help our ability to communicate substantially. And being able to plan ahead instead of trying to remember all of my "points" in the middle of a blow up episode has got to be better. I wonder if I could use notecards - or maybe put together a PowerPoint presentation. Thanks for the suggestion.

Sooner