Another thing to read up on, esp. for those of you with an inclination toward Jung, is the concept of carrying the shadow. You can see this in families where there is an acknowledged 'black sheep'. Somehow, some way, the family can only continue to function if the black sheep continues to be a screw up. This allows the other members to feel secure in their roles as 'the good ones'. They may even subtly or not so subtly encourage or enable the negative behaviours and choices of the black sheep.
It's only my own personal opinion, but I think there's a strong element of carrying the shadow both for the WAS *and* for the LBS/family.
Afterall, it's not comfortable for any of us to claim our own pieces of shadow. It's so much easier to let the black sheep carry it all for us. Integration is hard.
<shrug> One woman's opinion - for whatever it's worth.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
