Still on that rollercoaster of emotions. Sometimes wanting H back, sometimes wanting nothing to do with H.
No real progress to report. H has been nice and has called a couple times this week, but instead of being excited by his calls, I was more annoyed. ? I kept the calls short and ended them both times. So much for warm and fuzzy. H told me he'd be traveling next week - I didn't ask where, why or for how long. (He told me where and how long - seemed to want me to ask why. I just said OK.) Came to the realization that I've stopped asking him anything remotely personal because I don't want to be lied to. Finally understood why his family is not big on personal questions.
H asked me to drop boys off at his place last week - first time in 3 yrs he's let me know where he's living. He didn't invite me up, and honestly, if he does any time soon, I think I'll decline. Not ready for that. In denial? Too much reality? Don't really care?
Having doubts that H will ever mature. Keeping myself open to other options, of which there are sadly none. I'd still take H back, but the way I've been feeling, he'd have to fight his way back.
