Hi Sooner,
First, let me thank you and the state of Oklahoma for sending your power company linemen to help out with the clean-up from Isabel! It was an Oklahoma crew that finally got our power back on for us this weekend! And the kids are back in school (yeah!) after over a week out.

Sorry to hear that there hasn't been progress with your situation. I don't think I really have any super new suggestions to offer. The thought that comes to mind is that your wife doesn't have to "work" at all to keep you, so to speak. You started, way back when ( ), with trying to do things which would alleviate her stress, do your share of the work, etc. You looked at yourself and worked on what you thought might make having sex with you more attractive to her. Not at all a bad place to start. But that didn't do it. Maybe she needs to feel some sort of challenge. Maybe she doesn't respond to easy.

I'm not saying you need to get mean and nasty. But don't work so hard to please her. Also, as long as you guys are still occasionally having talks and arguments about it, sex is still a part of her life. She still knows you're attracted to her. Perhaps she needs to experience the possibility of you NOT being attracted to her. Are there times when you're not attracted to her? How do you feel about her when she's yelling or throwing things?

Quote:

I absolutely love attractive women and probably tend to drool over them worse than most guys, however I honestly don't want someone else - I just want my wife.




Does your wife ever see you looking at another woman? If she doesn't, perhaps she should. She might get angry about it, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Particularly if you just brush off her anger as so much "sound and fury signifying nothing."

In a past post you mentioned that pride might be an issue for your wife and you mentioned in this thread that she is stubborn. To me, that means you're not going to be able to use power plays to make her do something. She'll just dig her heels in more. So play to her pride instead. She needs to feel good about working on this. Right now you may have a situation where she feels if she does anything to fix this problem, she loses the game. Try thinking along those lines and see if it rings true that maybe it isn't about her not wanting to work on the problem, but rather her resisting a sense of having "lost" the argument. I don't have any specific suggestions right now about how to go about taking the "win/lose" out of the situation. But I think it might be worth thinking about.

Best wishes, MPT