Nah, you'll do fine. It WILL hurt but if you've trained right you'll finish.
Not a good performance today? What happened? Tired? Bonked? Hydration? Figure it out during training so it doesn't happen on race day.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
This was the very question that I have pondered back and forth. Do I want to be married to this man? Do I believe a future with him after all that has been said and done is something I want to even attempt? This man abandoned me and cheated on me. Funny thing is I could forgive and take him back if it weren't for one thing. He abandoned my children. Not one word to them since he left. My daughter just celebrated her 11th birthday and not even the common courtesy of a Happy Birthday to a little girl who idolized him and had the very stars in her eyes that he is searching the world over for. They were right there staring him in the face and he never saw them. This girl was so enraptured at having a daddy, finally. This man promised to love her and adopt her and he left. Never looking back over his shoulder. Will he ever realize what he lost? I seriously doubt it. Would I ever take him back? Not for all the money in the world. My children and their hurt won't allow me to even contemplate a reconciliation.
I sit here and read the boards often wondering why people have such a hard time communicating and the damage that it does to relationships. I watch people who eat so much crap from the very people who promised to love, honor, and cherish them and it saddens my heart. Society is such a "I've got to find MY happiness" feeling to it. All of us who wanted nothing more than a chance once we knew that something was wrong. All of us who had our hearts ripped out by those words ILYBINILWY. It's mind blowing.
I certainly understand where you are coming from, Smiley. I wouldn't date someone who has done the things my STBXH has. Why in the world would I want to stay married to him? I kept my vows. I might have griped, nagged, and not been as interested as he thought I should be, but I never put someone in my life above him. I never even looked at another man in that way. It's a hard thing to decide on. I just know that my self respect, my dignity, and my inability to ever fully trust him will always be things that keep me from ever being able to say, "Yes, I want to stay married to this man who broke my heart, slept with my ex best friend, lied for months on end, and abandoned me and my children."
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
So Signore crapped out -- big surprise -- and now I'm just supposed to sit here and think, "Well, gosh, WAW -- he gave you the best sex of your life, so you said, and now that he's gone out of the picture I'd sure be awful grateful if I could maybe kinda sorta have a shot at disappointing you in the boo-doir again."
Smiley, don't take it so personally. The brain is the biggest aphrodisiac. Yes, Ol' Schmuckatelli was the best sex she ever had because she had a huge build-up in her mind for it. But it was probably fairly garden variety sex. We all know that sex with what is now called "strange" is pretty titillating. But there is, and never will be, anything better than sex with the person you have enmeshed your soul with. And that, in her case, is only you.
I agree with Sara. stbxH's sex stories didnt matter to me that much. The lies and deceit plus the fact he loved her, did.
Anyway, to your question: I dont think you can decide that now. And ironically I dont think it is even your decision. If Mrs Smiley comes thru and does the walk, then my friend you will have no doubts. Hypothetical questions can torture your head. Stick to what you said before :keep an open mind and watch your wife. If she convinces you she is serious then you pop over to piecing and live happily ever after (ok, exaggerating a bit)
Personally, I believe very few WASs come back to do the work and show committement. I hope your wife turns out to be one of them. K
I hope you know I was just kidding about the marathon comments. Was not trying to bring you down (and don't think I could). Just trying to lighten the mood.
As Odog said, DO have faith in your training. Before the marathon I did, the longest race I did was a 10k. It is difficult to explain to someone that the human body, let alone their body, CAN do 26.1 miles. But, with the right physical and mental training, it CAN. And it is one he!! of an accomplishment.
I even did the '07 Dallas Marathon. Finished first in my age group Males 43 yrs old, 3 months and 7 days from my zip code. Tell everyone you are doing it so they become interested and it helps keep you motivated. Sign up for the txt alerts at the expo. Best advice I got for running it was from a older gentleman who was intrigued and liked me because of my military background, he was a WWII vet. After grilling me about the training, asking about why I was doing it and how far it was he got to thinking. A couple weeks later he tells me, "You know I've been thinking about this marathon thing you are doing. If I was you I would just keep putting one foot in front of the another until you get to the end." Helped me handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
As you can see, I'm moving into a new Anger Phase.
I got a little of that tonight too. Seems to be going around.
It really does. My W has not been doing anything differently than she has in the past months, but now I am pissed off about it.
So think thru what is triggering the anger? Fatigue (all forms), expectations (resentment), score-keeping, valid righteous anger, boredom, not getting needs met, lack of communication, jealousy..... Find the cause and you can then handle it. Keep in mind that anger feeds other negative emotions. Find some compassion and get busy for yourself. Make a list of what you are grateful for if you get stumped. Do something nice for somebody else. Smile at strangers. Start converstions at the grocery store. Exercise. Make your kids laugh. Play with your dog. Limboland loves frustrated, bored and pensive LBSs. Wonder what they are doing over in Thrivingland?
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Maybe I should get back to it.