Hi Sooner Sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. It's really tough. (((((((sooner))))))).
You have got to sort this out. I don't think you would ever want a divorce over this, but what is going to happen to your M? All the frustration, fighting, unhappiness. It's not good for either of you. Marriages are pretty fragile things that take a lot of care even when they have no real problems as such. So you have to do something. What about your kids, they will pick up on tension between you and your W and it will upset them.
It's just so hard to suggest something but I am going on the counsellor route again. This would be a 180 for you. Even if she refuses to go with you it will send her a message that you are serious about this, and perhaps you can get some help from the C about what to do. Definately need a good one tho, not sure but I think there may be something on this site about finding one somewhere. You've tried the backing off for a while now and that didn't seem to work. Maybe time for something different? Have you tried the letter thang yet, being more open about your feelings but at the same time very nice and reassuring. Don't bother with that tho if you think it won't work, you've got to try some new stuff here. Perhaps you need to be a bit more assertive with her, it's sounds like ordinarily you are really nice and understanding. I'm not in favour of being unpleasant, but you need to stand up for yourself.
Well just some ideas for you to think about. I am sure you'll sort something out in the end.
