Hey kat.. its soooo hard not to ask stuff sometimes, but I do bite my tongue more times than not. The convo we had was literally as I typed above and then I changed the subject, so maybe a minute out a week?
GAG - I really wanted to post stuff to help, even if it is just one person at least, because I really dont know what I would have done without this board and DBing and being able to post every night to people around the world that made me smile and laugh, often. I wanted to try and give some answers, although I know all sitches are different. Still, I think there are common threads and principles amongst us. Interesting you say it really resonated?
Last night he added more.. he said he was "mental" at that time. I said, do you really think that? He said yes, he felt mental and he isnt anymore, that it was for quite a while and the way he behaved and decisions he took were "madness". I am also no longer wearing makeup or smart clothes all the time and got back into my yoga pants some nights.. I was very worried about this and said I felt worried, but he insisted last night I no longer need to worry like taht, that its my home and I am just relaxing at home and thats normal and how it shuold be and anyway, I always look lovely.. in fact its "wearing" that I keep worrying when I really dont have to, he wants me to be reassured.
Its so hard to be ok, when I think back, I never ever thought he would leave me and I trusted him 100%. Now I look at him and I wonder if I ever really would feel that secure again, or perhaps just not yet hey.
