Thanks stuck and faith. He called me a million times today and got progressively more updet about me not calling back- many voicemails. Finally called my brother then dad, who told him I was here and that I would call him tomorrow. Proceeded to leave me voicemails begging me to call him and be fair and just tell him. Well I called him- this is what I said: "I know that you have been unfaithful to me. You have completely broken my trust and it's unacceptable." He says "unfaithful? what are you talking about?" I say: "I have my sources. I am not comfortable discussing this with you further at the moment." And I hung up as he continued to protest. It's been about 45 minutes and he has thus far left me 6 voicemails telling me there's been a misunderstanding and that we need to talk about it, and by dealing with it like this- not talking to him- is not helping. He guessed that I read his emails and said a girlfriend had done the same thing in the past and accused him and he broke up with her. Is he threatening me? I don't think a woman sending him naked photos of herself, and him forwarding it to his secondary email address can be misunderstood. Also- if I'm wrong, as he continues to claim, then why doesn't he tell my voicemail what the truth is. Why do I have to call him? I assume the thing to do is not call him, right? Maybe if he calls me in a couple days and wants to come clean and is calm THEN talk to him?
You handled this wonderfully! You are now in the DRIVER'S SEAT! How does it feel? Let the lying bastard squirm. Let him know you will no longer be a doormat and that you are moving on without him (even if you really aren't, although I suggest you do). Whatever you do, DO NOT pursue or call him. Instead continue to IGNORE him. Make him wonder what you are thinking, make him wonder what you are doing. The one who cares less controls the relationship. You want to be that person.
You and I are in the same boat now. My WAS is starting to squirm. And she's still denying the PA to anyone that will listen. But I'm the only one that matters and she now knows she has NO control over me anymore. I am no longer her lap dog and ready to take her back at a moment's notice.
Whatever you do (and whatever I do) we can not lose the control we now have. Let your H sweat. Let him think about what he is losing. If he wants to get his act together, then maybe you listen several months down the road. But any apologies he makes now will only be fake and a lame attempt to get control back.
