Yes the anniversarys, birthdays, & the holidays suck when you are in this state of mind. I've been d 4 yrs and I actually forgot about the anniv. this year. Didn't occur to me until it was past. I was a snooper too. Be careful it can hurt. The evidence brings unnecessary additional pain and more unanswered questions. You already know he lies. He's not going to change now. Don't believe him, don't trust him. My xh left his email signed on on my computer and I left it open for many wks, giving me access to every exchange w/ ow. I would get a sweet little email from him about how he missed me, and then right after she'd get love messages and poems and they'd be making plans. He must have wondered if I was psychic, cuz I would find the best moment to send him emails - just when I knew he would be most vulnerable. I knew what movies they went to, what they were eating, what holidays they took. I learned she was very insecure about me and he had to convince her he didn't love me and that he wanted only to be w/ her. It was very painful. I finally decided I didn't want to know more and I restarted the computer losing access to his email forever. That's when I was able to stop the obsessing and move forward. Hang in there. Take care of yourself. Try to stop thinking about what he's doing and focus on what you need to do. I resorted to wearing a rubber band on my wrist and every time I found my thoughts going to h & ow I would snap it. I would replace the things I shouldn't be thinking to things I should be thinking about. I trained myself to swap thoughts and it did help. I was in terrible shape tho, and that was extreme but I needed it. At first I was snapping and switching thoughts many times over and over. Eventually I would only need an occasional snap. Finally I quite wearing the rubber band. Sending good thoughts your way
